Memories are good and needed, in fact. We can no longer make new ones & so we cling to the old ones. However, TJ is not there. He is HERE.
A Needed Reminder
Tag: warrior mama
Music Soothes the Savage Beast
I didn’t know what today would bring. It’s relatively early in the day, in fact, and I still don’t know the path ahead of me. I woke feeling heavy, weighed down physically. It was hard to get out of bed. Puppy whining in her crate, “Let me out. I need to pee.” It was an hour or more later than…
Hell Week
The memories flood into my thought-space and there’s not much I can do about it. Part of me wants to sit in bed all day and stare at photos from TJ’S last week. And part of me says “get your ass outta bed!” I don’t know which will win. Right now it’s the “stay in bed” voice. I feel paralyzed and even when I look around at all that waits to be tended to, I just don’t give a fuck. Maybe one more hour in bed? Two? I don’t know. I don’t know how to get through today.
Nature Hearts
Hearts. TJ sends me hearts
Hills and Valleys
Today I celebrate the first anniversary of This Mama’s Heart. When I started last January, I wasn’t quite sure if anyone outside my family and close friends would be interested in my thoughts- the good, bad, and the ugly. But as it turns out, other people are interested and I am truly blessed to know I have touched hearts. I…
Music, Lights, and Nutcrackers, Oh My
Driving to the home school co-op this morning I felt the holiday sadness creeping in. Like a wiggle worm- one part “get off me” and one part “don’t go away”- the emotions moved through my ears to my head, to my heart, and finally finding their escape route as tears that drenched my cheeks. It’s never easy knowing how to…
Out of the Dust Springs Life
Thanksgiving. It’s tomorrow. My co-worker called me this morning to ask if I’d be okay. “It is what it is,” I replied. “Yes, it is.” We ended our conversation with promises to talk tomorrow and I moseyed into the kitchen to tackle some cleaning. After all the dishes were cleaned I set my sights on dusting. I enlisted the help…
Here Comes the Bride
Our family celebrated the wedding of my sister yesterday and so yet another special occasion has come and gone without the sweet exuberance of my TJ. It was an amazing day with such love and joy. But for me, I can’t help but miss the one who’s missing. It all started Friday night when we went out to dinner at…
Inspiration?
Inspire. To fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative. To create (a feeling, especially a positive one) in a person. To animate someone with (such a feeling). To give rise to. People look at me & say I am an inspiration. Why? What have I done? I have done nothing.…
Who I Always Was
Mind. Blown. I had tied a bow on my last post and decided to do some further reading on the art of kintsugi. It’s the Japanese art of repairing pottery with silver and gold. On the website of My Modern Met it tells the history of this beautiful technique. There it says: “The practice is related to the Japanese philosophy…