TJ’s birthday was 6 days ago. I thought I would get up that morning and write something. I guess I thought I “should”. I woke up early & posted birthday wishes to my angel on social media which proved harder than I anticipated. And then the day progressed with much love from family and friends. I never wrote another word…
When you’ve been told for a week that your son is going to die “any time now, maybe even within the hour,” and then he continues to hold on, you start to wonder if the doctors are right. You look for any miniscule shred of evidence that they really don’t know what they’re talking about. Every flinch, every eyelash flutter, every hand squeeze becomes a flicker of hope.
On certain nights, though, the weight of the atmosphere is so great that all I can do is sit in my chair at the kitchen table, silently cryining and unable to move.