Have you ever been somewhere and felt so out of place that you felt like a foreigner? You had no idea where to go or how you’d get there if you did know. Have you ever been somewhere and felt like that even though you had been there dozens upon dozens of times? It is sort of like the opposite of deja vu. When you have deja vu there is a distinct feeling that you have seen something, been somewhere, met someone before. Even if you didn’t know WHY you felt that way there was a certainty that you knew “X”. Going back to the opposite, there’s a certainty that you know NOTHING. That is how I feel today. In terms of grieving that is.
Category: Holidays
Remembering
There’s nothing simple about showing up for someone’s pain
Mama’s Day
I am not always capable of overlooking the grief. That’s ok, though. It’s not about living in denial of sadness; it’s about living despite the sadness.
The Un-Valentine Day
On certain nights, though, the weight of the atmosphere is so great that all I can do is sit in my chair at the kitchen table, silently cryining and unable to move.
Christmas Past
Christmas day is nearly upon us. It can feel quite surreal since Christmas is the start of the worst three weeks of my life. On December 26th, 2015 the shit hit the fan and the bottom fell out of my world. I can hardly bring myself to write about it. Everything was going “well” (meaning as well as it could…
Music, Lights, and Nutcrackers, Oh My
Driving to the home school co-op this morning I felt the holiday sadness creeping in. Like a wiggle worm- one part “get off me” and one part “don’t go away”- the emotions moved through my ears to my head, to my heart, and finally finding their escape route as tears that drenched my cheeks. It’s never easy knowing how to…