Memories are good and needed, in fact. We can no longer make new ones & so we cling to the old ones. However, TJ is not there. He is HERE.
A Needed Reminder
Category: Changes
A Foreigner in This Land
Have you ever been somewhere and felt so out of place that you felt like a foreigner? You had no idea where to go or how you’d get there if you did know. Have you ever been somewhere and felt like that even though you had been there dozens upon dozens of times? It is sort of like the opposite of deja vu. When you have deja vu there is a distinct feeling that you have seen something, been somewhere, met someone before. Even if you didn’t know WHY you felt that way there was a certainty that you knew “X”. Going back to the opposite, there’s a certainty that you know NOTHING. That is how I feel today. In terms of grieving that is.
Changes are afoot
Good changes. Needed changes. But any change can be a challenge. The new, the uncharted, the unexpected. We just don’t know what’s around the corner. And THAT’S the real challenge.
Only Joy
January. In its twenty-one days, it has been a month so far marked by tears and marked by smiles. I have passed through the anniversaries of TJ’s death and funeral which are never easy (tears). But I also celebrated the birthday of this blog, which was very cool (smiles)! I have packed away clothing of TJ’s (tears). But I have…
A Return to What Once Was
I am assuming that all the kids are back to school by now. I know mine are. Rachel is safely ensconced in the foothills at college. We heard from her on Sunday and she’s making friends. She dropped a class, added another, and was asked to skip up from the beginning dance intensive to the advanced so she felt good…
On More Than One Level
I see now that most of the hard times in my life now are difficult “on more than one level.” Nothing has a cut and dry reason or explanation. If you saw me getting tearful today you would reasonably assume it’s because I am missing the chatter of Rachel’s energy. What wouldn’t be obvious is that there’s another level of…
Change is in the Wind
Wow, it’s been a while. Much has happened. Much is changing. To start with, Rachel graduated high school. We are so proud of her and can’t wait to see what the future brings as she studies choreography at Bennington College. Susiy went to Arizona on a service project with George School to help at a school on a Navajo reservation…
It’s Graduation Time
Facebook did it to me again. Those memories that pop up everyday. I don’t hate them. Truly I don’t. They bring me daily reminders of my sweet TJ and happy times we had together- our dates, his singing, him playing with his siblings, his Lego and origami creations, they are all great things. Normally (by which I mean 50-60% of…
Terminal D
As I sat in terminal D four days ago at the Philadelphia airport I couldn’t help but think of the last time I was here. Our entire family was heading to Maui for TJ’s Make a Wish trip. It was a happy time. Happy knowing TJ would get to see the banyan tree. That tree was the reason he chose…