I didn’t know what today would bring. It’s relatively early in the day, in fact, and I still don’t know the path ahead of me. I woke feeling heavy, weighed down physically. It was hard to get out of bed. Puppy whining in her crate, “Let me out. I need to pee.” It was an hour or more later than…
I am in several grief community Facebook groups. One is more general, one for parents, one for parents whose children died from cancer, and the most specific being for parents whose children died from brain cancer. I was reading posts in the childhood cancer group this morning and a mom was grieving the loss of her child and talking about…
“….I was mentally checked out for the day. I had worked my butt off the day before and even that morning….”
January. In its twenty-one days, it has been a month so far marked by tears and marked by smiles. I have passed through the anniversaries of TJ’s death and funeral which are never easy (tears). But I also celebrated the birthday of this blog, which was very cool (smiles)! I have packed away clothing of TJ’s (tears). But I have…
I thought I knew what I was going to write about. Three years ago today, TJ and I were being airlifted from Washington, D.C. to Philadelphia, from one Children’s Hospital to another. I thought I was going to tell you about all the hope I felt that day to be able to get back to our home hospital and meet…
Thanksgiving. It’s tomorrow. My co-worker called me this morning to ask if I’d be okay. “It is what it is,” I replied. “Yes, it is.” We ended our conversation with promises to talk tomorrow and I moseyed into the kitchen to tackle some cleaning. After all the dishes were cleaned I set my sights on dusting. I enlisted the help…
I have been wanting to write for some time and haven’t. I don’t know exactly why I haven’t. I have these thoughts I want to get out but I’m always doing something and I say “later”. I have been plagued by guilt and unanswered questions- questions which will NEVER be answered. Questions only TJ could answer. So I turn to…
As I sat in terminal D four days ago at the Philadelphia airport I couldn’t help but think of the last time I was here. Our entire family was heading to Maui for TJ’s Make a Wish trip. It was a happy time. Happy knowing TJ would get to see the banyan tree. That tree was the reason he chose…