I am in several grief community Facebook groups. One is more general, one for parents, one for parents whose children died from cancer, and the most specific being for parents whose children died from brain cancer. I was reading posts in the childhood cancer group this morning and a mom was grieving the loss of her child and talking about…
I arrived in Dallas after finishing leg one of a trip from Philadelphia to Seattle. As I walked through the terminal I heard a violinist playing sweet music. He was center stage, entertaining weary and excited travelers alike. A glint color caught my eye from overhead and as I looked up I saw a huge circle of intertwined wires, lights,…
I saw this Instagram post today and it was meaningful to me on multiple levels. It made me think of all the times I think of TJ, how he’s in my day and in my life but not in a physical form, a ghost if you will. Honestly, I don’t want to not think of TJ. I want an overwhelming…
TJ’s birthday was 6 days ago. I thought I would get up that morning and write something. I guess I thought I “should”. I woke up early & posted birthday wishes to my angel on social media which proved harder than I anticipated. And then the day progressed with much love from family and friends. I never wrote another word…
Good changes. Needed changes. But any change can be a challenge. The new, the uncharted, the unexpected. We just don’t know what’s around the corner. And THAT’S the real challenge.
There is a book I read not too long after TJ died called The Light Between Us. I suppose it wasn’t the first time I had heard of the idea of asking someone from the other side to send a specific sign, but it was the first time in the context of the bereaved mother and it resonated with me.…
Since becoming “the grieving mother” I have joined several Facebook groups for the bereaved. Some specific to moms, some specific to childhood cancer, some specific to children’s brain caner. These groups have been my therapy for three years. At times I am heavily involved. I pour my heart out. I attend online chats. I cry over other people’s stories. I…
When you’ve been told for a week that your son is going to die “any time now, maybe even within the hour,” and then he continues to hold on, you start to wonder if the doctors are right. You look for any miniscule shred of evidence that they really don’t know what they’re talking about. Every flinch, every eyelash flutter, every hand squeeze becomes a flicker of hope.
Hearts. TJ sends me hearts
I am not always capable of overlooking the grief. That’s ok, though. It’s not about living in denial of sadness; it’s about living despite the sadness.